


South for the Winter

by mostlyok



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chubstuck, F/F, F/M, Feeding, Homestuffed, M/M, Masturbation, Stuffing, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:50:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlyok/pseuds/mostlyok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every winter, the trolls' metabolisms slow down in order to allow them to pack on extra weight so they can deal with the cold. Most of them embrace, or at least tolerate it, but Equius Zahhak refuses to budge--or grow--an inch. Dirk Strider decides to help convince him.</p><p>With bonus Roxy and Nepeta.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Earth and Alternia were different planets. This much was obvious to any member of either species that called those worlds home; humans could spy the differences in the other planet's culture, so steeped in carnage that killing was as easy as breathing to most of its inhabitants, or its political arena, with its strange, contradictory blend of oppressive militarism and pick-yourself-up survival of the fittest mentalities.

Trolls could look at the names of both planets and say that "Earth" was a stupid word. And then keep saying it, sometimes for hours at a time. It was the first complaint that they had about Earth, and apparently the only one, as none of the surviving twelve trolls seemed able to move past it. One Karkat Vantas famously wrote a paper on the subject, to the initial bemusement and eventual disgust of his eight (and only) human friends. The desire to complain was drilled into troll DNA, and despite all the other differences between their homeworld and Earth, life on the blue planet hadn't been too difficult to adjust to.

Until Earth had its polar vortex, that is, and gave them all something new to worry about. For humans, the influx of cold weather meant putting on some additional layers and being mindful of how they managed their heating systems. For trolls, it meant something else entirely.

"How's it hangin', Nep?" Roxy asked, settling into her computer chair. On the screen in front of her flashed an image of Nepeta Leijon, an olive green headset replacing her usual blue hat. The troll smiled, delighted as always to see her friend; the regularity of weekly skype chats did nothing to diminish her enthusiasm.

"It's hanging supurr dupurr!" Nepeta said, and something about seeing her speak made Roxy squint at the screen. There was something...off. A subtle difference that hadn't been there before.

Nepeta noticed.

"Roxy? What are mew looking at?" The huntress' keen eyes didn't miss anything, even through her old webcam's pixelated interference. She cocked her head to one side, and Roxy's eyes involuntarily widened. Nepeta smiled. "Is my winter coat coming in pawlready?"

Where the week before Nepeta had been the tall, lithe, sleek huntress--a lioness on two legs--now, she was chubby. Her face had rounded out, and it was the wobble on her cheeks that had caught Roxy off guard.

The troll giggled at Roxy's stunned silence. "It's okay if it is! Efurryone has a winter coat. Unless..." her question hung obviously in the air. Humans? No winter coat? Was it possible?  
"I, uh...Nep, I don't see any fur on ya." It was the only thing Roxy could think to say.

"Well duh! It's not fur, it's fat! Whenever it gets cold on Alternia, it gets cold furr a really long time. So every troll plumps up furr the winter cycles! It helps keep us warm." She stated it matter-of-factly, leaning in closer to the screen to inspect Roxy's visage. "Humans don't do that?"

"Y'know, some do but it ain't on purpose or nothin'," Roxy said, still surprised. "This is a thing that just happens? Everybody up and gets tubby like a seal?"

"Yep!" Giggling, Nepeta stood up. Her gloved hands went to undo her belt, and Roxy saw, hardly believing, as Nepeta's belly surged forward, spilling over the barely-visible waistband of her green panties. Roxy pressed her nose against the screen, cursing the shoddy connection that hampered her view. Nepeta's belly was big, jiggling slightly as the troll patted her sides, hands gently smacking against the beginnings of love handles. The blonde couldn't believe her eyes, and that doubled when Nepeta lifted her shirt off, giving a sigh of relief that puffed out her gut and shook her breasts--breasts that, Roxy noticed, were much rounder and fuller than when the group last went to the beach and Nepeta revealed her toned figure.

Roxy imagined her tongue traveling over the swell of that belly and up between those meaty breasts, and it was at exactly that moment that Dirk walked in.

"Watchin' the steak channel or something, Lalonde? What's with the googoo eyes?"

Roxy turned to him in stunned horror. Dirk got his answer when he looked at the screen to see Nepeta all but strip-teasing, showing off all the pounds she had packed on since the cold snap.

"It finally happened, huh. Leijon snapped and ate somebody."

Roxy looked like she was chewing on something particularly sour as Dirk continued to study the screen and Nepeta, oblivious, drummed a beat on her tummy.

"Friend of ours? Or enemy? Pretty efficient corpse disposal for a murder, but you'd need an alibi as to why she starts looking like the Michelin Man."

Nepeta was saying something, but Roxy couldn't hear her. She caught a glimpse of the tubby troll sitting down and waving at Dirk. Nepeta's belly bulged outward as she sat, jiggling copiously for a moment afterward. The two Heart players began talking, Dirk leaning close to Roxy in order to borrow her microphone. He caught on quickly, Nepeta filling him on on the trolls' natural seasonal weight gain. Roxy, wide-eyed, was still staring at the belly and still imagining her tongue going places. Shame on her.

"What about Zahhak?" Dirk asked.

"Equius? He, uh..." Nepeta glanced away, pouting. "Blarrrrgh! That grump! He always goes cold because he doesn't want to gain weight! He gets sick every sweep. And his blood already keeps him so chilly!"

"That's fucked," Dirk said plainly. "The man has some serious vanity issues if that's true. Have you talked to him? Worked some of that plump pappin' magic on ponyboy?"

Nepeta playfully rolled her eyes, Dirk's command of the Strider charm less impressive to her than Dave's. "Of course I have. But he's so damn stubborn! He's like an old man sometimes. At least winter on Earth is a lot shorter..." She put her chin on her hand, sighing. "It won't be as bad for him here."

Dirk ticked an eyebrow up.

"I'll talk to him."

Nepeta perked up, looking at him curiously.

"Dirk?"

"I'll talk to him. Hell, I'll do it now. Today's our gym day. See you later, ladies. Sorry to hijack your call."

With that, he was off, leaving Nepeta confused on the other side of the screen.

"What's he up to, Roxy?"

"I'm gonna be honest with you Nep, I haven't been listenin'."

\------

"The gymnasium is in the other direction."

Dirk just hummed. Equius turned to face him, his seat belt straining under his broad chest.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Parking lot," Dirk said, tight-lipped. Equius glared, furrowing his brow. Surprises weren't his most favorite of things. They rated near the bottom of the list, actually, only above the incident where he searched for art of a certain cartoon he had been enjoying and forgot to activate SafeSearch.

Dirk brought the car to a parking lot, in an area Equius didn't recognize. He stopped and turned the radio down, but neglected to turn off the engine. He had heard the quiver in Equius' voice disappear when he turned the heater on.

"You owe me an explanation for this, Dirk. We are on a strict sched--"

"Nep said you don't want to gain weight." Dirk's stare was piercing, even behind opaque sunglasses. It caught Equius off guard, and he spent a moment in shocked silence, sweat collecting on his brow. Before he could say anything, Dirk spoke again. "She told me that you're trying to avoid gaining weight, despite it being something that happens naturally to your species every winter. I talked to some of your peers to confirm this, cause I know sometimes Nepeta gets weird thoughts in her head."

"Allow me to speak."

When Equius wanted to be heard, it was clear. Dirk stopped.

"I do not need to make any adjustment to my body. The cold can be resisted, easily, and without resorting to...neglecting my health."

"You say that, dude, but it's no degrees out. All the degrees fucked off, headin' south for the winter, and your species ain't one built to take this kind of cold with a smile."

"I am strong, Dirk," Equius protested.

"Not sayin' you aren't. But you're weak in the head if you think letting yourself get hypothermia is gonna prove anything." At that point, Dirk cut the engine, along with the warm air. Equius immediately, inadvertently sighed, drawing his coat closer to himself.

"Besides," Dirk continued. "You're tellin' me you couldn't lose some extra weight?" He raised an eyebrow at Equius, his tone making him sound like he was presenting a challenge. He got out of the car, standing up and stretching. Equius followed.

"You have not told me where we are," he said, pointedly avoiding what Dirk had been saying.

"Somewhere we haven't been before. C'mon. You'll like it, big man." Dirk started across the snow-covered parking lot, toward the nearby IHOP.


	2. Light Snack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Equius finish their business at iHop, leaving Equius something to think about.

The practice of listing calorie counts on restaurant menus was only a few years old, though neither man sitting in the corner booth at the International House of Pancakes knew that firsthand. Dirk had heard it from Jane, who followed closely the trends of the baked goods industry as she prepared to build her empire. Equius had heard it from Dirk, who had no shortage of little factoids like that to share when on outings like these.

It occurred to Equius that he didn't know what kind of outing this was. He had expected another missive from Dirk about the importance of putting on winter weight...but the other man had quietly, almost meekly, told him that he could order whatever he wanted, including nothing, if it suited him. He had then proceeded to prop up his menu and sit in silence until the waitress arrived, at which point he voiced his desire for a short stack of waffles and a tall glass of orange juice.

"Tallest glass you've got," he had said. "Taller than my friend here. You've seen the Empire Strikes Back? Give me a bacta tank of OJ."

The waitress smiled through her puzzlement until she turned to see Equius and realized what a tall glass of OJ that he was. She took his order--milk, a plate of French toast but light on the sugar--and scurried off, already dreading her return to the table with the Odd Couple.

That dread doubled when she brought them their drinks and her arrival interrupted Dirk right as he was beginning to say something. Dirk waited until she was gone to take his orange juice and begin to drink. Equius, for lack of a vocal explanation from Dirk, watched, feigning disinterest. Perhaps his mannerisms would give something away as to his intent. If that were so, Equius was prepared to wait and put the puzzle together on his own.

He didn't have to.

"The thing about weight wasn't the only reason I brought you here today."

Equius, silent, folded his hands in his lap and stared at Dirk.

"I wanted to ask you somethin'," Dirk continued, fingers tapping on the rim of his glass. "Somethin' usually reserved for dinners and other semi-formal, semi-public outings."

Equius continued staring, pretending not to notice how forceful the gulps Dirk was taking were or how prominently his Adam's Apple bobbed with the strength of his drinking or how the blonde managed to chug the entirety of the glass in seconds, no, certainly not, he didn't see any of that.

"I want to ask about dating again," Dirk said, setting his glass down. "Dating you, specifically."

Equius felt something tighten in his chest; whether it was a twinge of panic or a rush of passion, he couldn't tell. His brow furrowed in response, an unconscious reaction to the conflict inside him. These were feelings he wasn't used to.

"It's been a few months. We agreed to a trial period and all. Stopped short of signing a contract, couldn't find a notary," Dirk continued, running his mouth. "But it's been a few months. I thought I would float the idea again, throw it out there, make options available. Hopin' for some feedback here, man."

Equius stared, adjusting his gaze to avoid the other man and focus on blank space at the other end of the dining room. How many dates had they been on? Four. Had they gone well? Still up for debate. How likely would this be to go over better?

Not very.

Equius looked at Dirk, his mouth a thin line.

"I will think on it."

Dirk spent a long moment looking at Equius, his face implacable, before he eventually nodded and turned back to his food. The subject didn't come up for the remainder of the outing. Equius ate his two hundred calorie meal. Dirk drove Equius back to his apartment, forgoing the gym entirely, and dropped him off.

Equius stood in the living room of his apartment, a single phrase bouncing around inside his head. He couldn't shake it, no matter how hard he tried, and the hour or so since Dirk had said it only lessened his ability to think about other things.

"I want to date you," Equius breathed, voice barely above a whisper. There was no one else in the apartment to hear it, Nepeta off in her own unit two floors down, and even then it sounded horrifyingly loud. "I want to date you." The words didn't sound right on his lips. The sentiment didn't seem to be applicable to him. But Dirk had said it, and Equius had heard.

He sat down on the couch in front of his rarely-used television, thinking. It felt like those four dates had been so long ago, even if it had only been a few months since that summer. It felt like it had been eons since someone had wanted him.

That's what it was, wasn't it? Dirk wanted him. Dirk looked at him and saw things to admire, even despite the awkward conversations and nervous tension and the times Equius had snapped under the pressure of anxiety and spoken cruelly for no reason. He cringed as he remembered those moments, how they seemed to sully everything, but...

He knew that despite it, he was wanted. Dirk had told him, even, low words on hot breath moaned into Equius' ear a few months ago.

Dirk had said...

Dirk...

Oh, dang it.

Equius grunted, putting a hand to his face. He could feel his pants tenting, the material growing taut and strained around his swelling bulge. Groaning, he rubbed his legs together, hoping to stifle his dick before it became fully erect. The last thing he needed was to be stuck on the couch masturbating when he could be doing something useful; he didn't need to think about Dirk's tight, chiseled pectorals heaving under his thin shirt, or that thin shirt riding up to reveal the thin trail of scruffy blonde hair, so bright against his amber skin, stretching down toward the lump in his pants, or Dirk's hand firmly tugging the zipper of Equius' shorts down but going slow, so slow, or the low timbre of Dirk's voice whispering "I want you" as they sat on this very couch, Dirk Strider's hands stroking his cock.

Equius definitely didn't need to think about any of that, but there he was, his pants around his ankles, hand furiously stroking his shaft. He bit his free hand to quiet his moans, eyes falling shut as he got closer and closer to climax. He could practically hear Dirk's words of encouragement in his ear, feel his teeth on his collarbone, see the swell of his belly as he guzzled orange soda down...

Wait, what.

Equius had no time to ask himself what prompted that thought, as he squeezed the base of his cock and saw stars, pumping come out in spurts, his back arching and hips lifting in pleasure as the orgasm hit him like a tidal wave. After what felt like an eternity, he settled back against the couch, breathing deep as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He would have to shower, then clean the couch, and the carpet, and...well, being spontaneous with this kind of thing wasn't the best idea.

As he came down from the high of his release, Equius came back to what he had been thinking as it happened, and it did two things: firstly, it confused him beyond all measure. Secondly, it triggered a heat in his loins, and he almost felt ready to go again.

In his fantasy, Dirk hadn't been the only one eating voraciously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me a very long time to write because im not used to writing relationships  
> the good stuff is up next i promise

**Author's Note:**

> more to come soon


End file.
